"A Different kind of Chocolate" : THE TRIBAL TATTOO

Here's an excerpt from the book I'm working on.... Please comment with feedback!

30+ and Dating series…

"A Different kind of Chocolate”

 The Tribal Tattoo

So…..I decided to get a breath of fresh air. It was a nice day out in sunny Southern California and the weather was going to be breaking in at 83º high and 69º low... I pushed open my balcony door that practically knocked over the potted plant of the neighbor from the building across the way, which sat on his window seal…. I stepped out barefoot, toes freshly painted metallic red, wearing my “XOXO” Tiffany blue colored booty shorts, and a cut off tank top with my brown/blonde streaked hair pulled up into a high ponytail. After grabbing one of my Zane books, I walked out and sat down on my step stool that I placed outside just in case I needed to reach something high in my apartment. As I’m sitting on the balcony drinking my strawberry banana smoothie, I kick up my legs onto the balcony rail and began reading…

Now…if you have ever read any of the Zane books, you know how warm, giggly, and “bothered” you get…so you can imagine how I was feeling when that Southern Cali breeze seeped through those booty shorts as I was midway thru chapter 8 of “Addicted.”

As I’m beginning to close out chapter 8, I hear the sound of an expensive glass that had to have shattered onto a Bamboo and Cork wooden floor…. How do I know the type of floor, you ask? Well the first time I got down with the “get down” with Mr. Big from my past, the expensive wine glasses we used, accidentally dropped and made a certain sound. That was then when I asked about his floor type to make small talk before the “big talk!” But any who….I’m sure we’ll get back to Mr. Big in another chapter…now back to the glass breaking….This sound caught my attention at an instant so I looked up from reading and into the window of my neighbor from the next building and HOT DAYUM!...now…I’m a sista and strongly love my brothas but for the first time I am glued to the back of this Different kind of Chocolate man who wore a backwards “NY” baseball cap and had this black Tribal Tattoo that spread throughout his back. The backside is all I am seeing as he repeatedly bent down to pick up the broken glass pieces… As I’m staring and damn near drooling onto my poor little Zane book, I break my stare immediately and raise my book as I see him look my way. But how dumb was I to put the book all up to my face??? Like who reads like that??? I was sooooo caught staring at this man! But wait….I don’t know what I’m tripping on, I don’t even know what this white man even look like…or even if he’s white. He could be a really really light skinned black guy…I dunno…but all I know is that he’s a Different kind of Chocolate…

So….while reading my Zane book with the book glued to my face because now I have to pretend that I read my books like this so he doesn’t think I was staring at him….I finally lowered the book so I can grab a sip of my smoothie. I reached down to grab my drink, and OH.MY.GOSH! This man is walking around in his undies!!!!!! But let me describe this….he had his undies all snugged where I can see the muscles in his butt and I’m sure if he turned around, I would be able to see that lower area “V” shaped muscle men have when they have damn near 0% body fat…

So…I quickly grab my book and glue it back to my face again so he didn’t catch me this time…but then I couldn’t stay away…I must admit…I seldom peeked away from chapter 9 to get a glimpse of this body. Mannn….I wish you guys can see him…Although I haven’t seen his face, I am infatuated with him. I mean, I’ve noticed him before but only seen the silhouette of his body since I work nights… Oh man….he’s now doing push ups….one arm, two arms….mannnn I wish I was that floor right about now… and if I was, I can guarantee that he’d never come up for a breath after going down on a “push up”….

WHAT AM I SAYING???!!!!! Look at me…this Zane book has got me going crazy and it’s only 10:30 a.m. Woo-sigh…let me take a breather and get back to my reading. Here I go again…back to the opening of chapter 9 with the book glued back to my face… As I’m into my chapter, I hear another glass break! Really??? This dude must be a clutz!…but of course the nosy neighbor in ME must look over into the window again. I lower my book and to my surprise, Mr. Tribal Tattoo man is hanging over his window seal staring at me… Um…how do we say AWKKKWARRDDD???!!! He smile…I smile…and he says, “How do you like the view?” Hmm…is he talking about the view of him or some other view because where my apartment is positioned, the only action of view I get is, of HIM!

I introduce myself and he says, “Nice to meet you,” but then doesn’t give me his name. I asked him what his name was, and all he said was, “How did you like the view?”

Okay so this dude is not going to let this go… so I tell him about the view and said, “It’s alright,” with that famous Kanye Shrug to follow. We laugh and I ask for his name again, which he doesn’t reveal. He then asked why I needed to know his name….and thanks to my early morning reading of Zane, I innocently said, “Because I need to know what to scream…”

OH BOY!!!!!! What did I get myself into??? I’m acting like Zoe from the novel I was reading! How embarrassing….thank you Zane…

So the man next door, who I’ll call “Mr. Tribal Tattoo” because I don’t know his damn name, doesn’t react to my answer…instead, he sat there, gave me that “LL Cool J” lip action, and kept quiet. We stared at each other for a long minute until I felt that cool breeze through my shorts again and began to daydream that the breeze I was feeling was this Different kind of Chocolate man’s tongue… But WAIT! Hold my thought for a second and let me back up…. I failed to tell you what he looks like which is a VERY important factor in this story… Now… I refuse to tell you much about this man because it will unfold later, but I will say this…every piece of this Tribal Tattoo man’s body reminded me of the actor Channing Tatum…6’1”, smoothed abs and a**!...and his smile…Paul Walker!...not too flashy, but innocently enough to know what he’s thinking…. And with that said ladies and gentlemen… I’m sure you know by now, that he’s no brotha…but definitely A Different kind of Chocolate!

“Deserie!”…he says

Oh boy…to hear this man say my name as I’m daydreaming about him going down doesn’t make me stop thinking about what’s going to happen next... Oh heck, I practically forget that he’s even watching me from his window and truly don’t even care. Between this Zane book, the cool breeze, and that nice piece of package Mr. Tribal Tattoo was hiding behind his undies, I’m sure to have the Big O pretty soon, if only he will continue saying my name…. But then there’s silence…. I open my eyes, turn to his window, and he’s no longer there. As a matter of fact, his window is shut! Either I bored him to death or all of this was just a dream to begin with… I look down at my watch and notice that an hour has gone by…. What the heck???? Have I been dreaming this whole time???? I better get up and enjoy the rest of this beautiful day! I get up, put all my items inside my apartment, shut my balcony door, put Zane’s book into my bag (because I never leave home without it), grab my keys, open my door, and there stood Mr. Tribal Tattoo wearing a wife beater and cargo shorts. I drop my bag on the floor; he begins to kiss me, picks me up and shuts the door…..

Introducing…Mr. Tribal Tattoo…

***please comment below...thanks for reading***

NO Rules...Just DO YOU!

Okay so….by now, I’m sure you have read both of my 30+ and Dating blogisodes which  talks about myself and not having any rules in dating…while giving you a little laugh or two with the “Mr. Big” blog in which we’ll revisit later…

You see…we’ve all gone through the “rules” of dating and frankly, it’s about time to get rid of those. I am no expert…I mean heck, if I was; I’d be living happily ever after with a husband, a picket fence, a dog, kids, and a coke & a smile. However, an expert is far from what I am….I’m just a woman dating in her 30s.

So…this blogisode entry #3 is probably more for the ladies, but I’m sure getting feedback from the men will be greatly appreciated…and who knows, they could probably take down a note or two themselves.

Okay so…we’ve all read the books… “He’s just not that into you,” “Act like a lady, Think like a man,” “The Rules,” and “Law of Attraction.” I must say…these are some wonderful books and great takeaways! I definitely do not knock the authors of these books nor think that the information inside are crap. What I will say is that, in dating…there aren’t any rules….and it’s really that simply put.

Now…on the flip side, if you feel you need someone to tell you to brush your teeth before the date, clean the inside and outside of your car, or stick a comb through your hair…then by all means, read and consult as many people as possible…but I must say, I think your “dating” issues are fair beyond not getting a date… YOU may have some issues of your own…

So… I been dating now and was on my way to pick up Steve Harvey’s 2^nd relationship book to figure out what is it that I do next… and that’s when it hit me…YOU DO YOU! Like…I’ve read them all, practiced them all, took notes, and the result of a successful relationship with #1, #2, and #3…FAILED…again! So why am I reading another relationship book???? Wake up MTB and ladies! You do not need a book to tell yourself how to date, keep a man/woman, and to have an everlasting love! WAKE UP and DO YOU! Men love the real you! They love it when you laugh at your own jokes, call them after the date just to say “thank you” or even to kiss them on the cheek just to say I appreciate you. Just DO YOU! I mean…how many times have you heard in the last week from men saying “Oh lawd….all these women are about to see this Steve Harvey movie”? That’s because men doesn’t live by rules….HELLO!!!!! Did I get your attention???? Here it is again….MEN.DO.NOT.LIVE.BY.RULES! Why do you think some men don’t text with those cute little “I miss you” messages we crave??? Some don’t do it because they just don’t want to be pressured to do so. We sit there and wait for it because we believe if they LIKE us, they should do those things….Yes! They absolutely should! However, the man that is perfect for you…WILL!

I mean I don’t want to ramble on and on about the different rules or “no rules” about dating, but I feel I have to because we’ve been doing it for way too long. I put it like this if he likes YOU, he’ll do everything in his WILL to keep you…Trust….I know its hard to put down the books and go back to normal you…but, you have nothing else to lose…just try it!

So…with this “No Rules” I been doing in dating…it has opened up a new world! I mean I was so use to waiting 3 days after a date to call the man, waiting 90 days before sex, or standing outside of his car until he opened the door (in which I’ve done that several times including restaurant doors)…all that is bizarre! Yes you want the man to respect you but we’re talking about doing what makes you happy! If you want to lay down and have sex with that man on the first date….go for it! That may be the last time you see him, or you never know, you could be married to that man within the year. Just…DO YOU!

So…I took the “No Rules” approach into a date….We go out to some random restaurant and of course he had his rules down pact! Yes yes ladies…I know I said earlier that some men don’t have rules, but some actually do… and that’s because since they know we’re reading “The Rules” and they want to get pass the first date, they pick up a book or two and learn how to play by our rules, to get us, and then everything else is just down hill from there…comprende? So, he does what he “should do” and open the car door for me. I’m laughing on the inside because I already know what rule was next… The Low Music rule…. Have you ever noticed that on a “perfect” date, when you get inside his car, there’s low RnB music playing (or anything that’s soothing)?! That’s because every man knows that women loves romance so he’s going to have his ipod cued up at the perfect spot for that woman to notice…Now don’t get me wrong, some is coincidental and out of respect, but many is done on purpose…

So anyways…we pull up to the restaurant, I grab the door handle and he says, “don’t you reach for the handle girl,” and gets out, runs around, and opens the door. Now…over a year ago, this would’ve been impressive because we all like a gentleman…however, I seen this bullskip before….some men would do all the “right things” that they think you want but most of these gestures will fall out when you’re in a relationship because he “has you!” Now…don’t get me wrong, if it’s in a man to do those things…it will come natural to him and you’ll get those gestures for life! But we’ve all seen this and Relationship #3 was no stranger to a good game…I mean this man was smooth and he knew just what to do for the ladies. Like he was smart enough to do those “good morning beautiful” text messages, kiss me on the forehead, open doors and blah blah blah…but I caught him slipping one day. He was so use to doing the right things and having to pre-think what he’ll do, but I gave him a random test one day…We went to have breakfast downtown one morning and we walked up to the restaurant door and I stopped and stood there. He practically ran into me and was like, “why’d you stop?” and was looking around confused….I said, “oh did I catch you off guard?” He was still confused so I opened the door myself, gave him the “aha” evil eye, and walked in….Now…I said all of that to say… Men…stop the bullskip if the “opening doors” gestures is not going to continue. YES…we want doors opened for us, but don’t do it just to get passed the first few dates, do it because it’s natural to do so. If she likes you, she’s going to like you FOR YOU…

Now…we’re inside the restaurant and dude is looking at me like I was a slab of meat….He was a nice guy but there was something creepy about the way he looked at me… So…for the sake of names, lets just call him “Nice Guy John.”

“Nice Guy John” was about 4 years older than I was, average height and build, cute as a button, didn’t have children, never was married, and was set in his career…he was a great catch! Whelp…I tested my “No Rules” in dating because at that time, I definitely wasn’t trying to get back into a relationship, so I was just chillaxin…. So…the questions began….In no random order, he asked if I cooked. I said “NO”…hahahaha….hey…No Rules right? Not that I can’t cook, or don’t cook, whether I cook or not is irrelevant at this point. Now…we’ve always had to answer this question and my answer is ALWAYS “sure I can cook! I throw down!” while blurting out different dishes I can whip up….Now…we do this because we want the man to paint a great picture of their perfect wife because in their minds, that’s one thing they can check off their list. So…this is when the No Rules comes in….when I told him that, he laughed and said “that’s cool because I’ll just wine and dine you and cook for you, and you can just relax!” Whoa der…hold up!!!!!! You mean to tell me, saying I don’t cook just got me some brownie points???? In my Kevin Hart’s voice- “Alright Alright Alright” I guess I’m gon’ learn today! Man….I was trippin! Now ladies…don’t just switch it up on dates and tell them you don’t cook and expect the same response because he may leave you at the restaurant…I’m just saying that it worked for me….so do what works for you!

So then “Nice Guy John” goes on to another question….he asks if I was looking to settle down anytime soon. I told him “NOPE!” I was real clear and told him that all I’m looking for is some fun, some food, a movie or two and just relaxation….Now…this is when I really went in hard on it because this is soooo out of character for me and deep down I truly want to be in a relationship but I knew my heart wasn’t ready to love again. But…I didn’t care… I was hurt from previous relationships because I did everything RIGHT, so being comfortable with myself is what mattered to me. I even told this dude that I was dating 4 other men simultaneously just to see what he’d say and… “Nice Guy John” was cool with it and said “may the best man win!” So now I’m like….I get it! A man wants a challenge! Like think about this, whenever we as women call too much, text too much, want to hang too much, that man will run the other direction. But…if we pull that back, answer the questions truthfully, don’t be so quick to be at his beckon call, he will most likely chase you or at least meet you half way…Ladies…relax and DO YOU!

Reading a bunch of relationship books, trying to follow certain rules from movies may or may not cut it…but you know what…DO YOU and when you do that, trust…he will notice you when you’re not looking and do everything there is to get and keep you…which is the goal…

Ladies and Gentlemen….NO Rules…just DO YOU!

"Mr. Big"...

So…a few weeks has passed and I’m still twittering my thumbs on when and if I should start dating.

After the draining of my past relationship, I needed a change. I packed up my things and left old memories behind and headed to the breath of fresh air of a beautiful neighborhood. I no longer wake up to tears on my pillows, the scent from his side of the bed, or his “good morning beautiful” messages… I now wake up to LIFE. The LIFE I’m ready to live that involves me, Me, and ME! I have always been far from selfishness and always put others in front of my own success while dropping everything to see them succeed. However…in the process of doing so, you end up losing a part of yourself when you become a pawn in someone else's twisted game. Trust…don’t get me wrong, the things I do for people I care about comes from nothing but love, so I don’t ask for anything in return, but the second I find out I was just a piece in your own game, is when it becomes a problem…

Oh…I failed to tell you in my first entry that I’m a Scorpio…So even though we can be very charming, loveable, confident, passionate, and sexual, we also have a dark side so you might not want to cross us… Revenge is second nature to a Scorpio so choose your chess pieces wisely…

Living my new life of ME, is going to be fun in my future dates to come. I will now become “them.” At this time of my life, I’m not interested in Acting like a Lady and thinking like a Man…that cost me 3.5 years with one, 6 years with another, and 3.8 years with the last. The game of dating for me has switched and I now will “act like a boy” and I owe it all to my past…So take a bow because I know you’re reading…

It’s time for me to have some fun and get to know the real ME with an “I don’t care” type of attitude. “NO” will be upon my lips!...No I don’t cook, No I’m not paying, No you can’t pick me up, No you can’t be my boyfriend, no No NO! I’m in control now and I understand by controlling, I can’t guarantee that I’d meet my King of Queens, and I’m okay with that… Of course, this is going to be fun for now, and maybe later I’ll want to take it a bit more serious…but for now…LETS HAVE FUN!

So… after I decided to just HAVE FUN… I get a message from someone who I randomly met out the blue on a late evening. Now…let me set this story up correctly. This “someone” is no ordinary someone… He has been on the screens of every person’s television weekly for months at a time for years… Trust me…no need to know “who he his” just know that he is a fine piece of specimen who will be named “Mr. Big”…

It’s been a tough few weeks and I been on a constant emotional roller coaster and all I needed was a break… I get a text from “Mr. Big” and I was shocked! Am I dreaming??? This can’t be! When I gave him my number, I didn’t actually think he would use it…and so soon! I mean…I’m not saying I’m a duck… I think I’m between a 7 and a 10… but to compare to other women in Los Angeles, this was far fetched!

So…he wants me to come over. I’m thinking noooooo….MTB (Ms Taye Brown) doesn’t do Jumpoffs! I’m back new to the scene of dating and although I want to have fun, this isn’t the kind of fun I want to have….and with him! Who does he think I am??? I’m sophisticated and educated…I don’t have Jumpoffs…I have relationships. But this man…oh lawd this man was different. This fine…clean cut…body like boom, bang, pow wants me now! So now I’m thinking…I can pass on his offer, go into work the next day and let everyone know that he contacted me and close out my story…or I make it into a game and push the envelope as far as I can go… So I pushed…

We decided to link up… I was excited, nervous, and laughing as I’m getting dressed because this has NEVER happened to someone like me. I was on my bed grasping for air after uncontrollable laughing at what could actually go down.

I respond to his text…he gave me his address… and now I’m in my car… I start up the engine, alert my sister where I was heading, and headed down the street. “Mr. Big” and I had been texting non stop up until now. I let him know that I was on my way… and then there was *dead silence*… For the first time, he didn’t respond… I’m now on the freeway and reality sits in and logical MTB (Ms Taye Brown) begins to think… “What are you doing MTB? Who does this? You don’t REALLY know this man”… So I’m beginning to freak myself out and in the process of turning around and end the story here…but then I get a text from him…

So… I pull up to his place and take a breath….a deep…long…longer…breath… Who is behind door #1? Is it “Mr. Big?,” his friend, or friendsssss??? Is it a killer??? Will Jason or Freddy Krueger stab me when I walk in??? Oh lawd!!! Do I end the story here or do I push it??? But…But…I’ve got to see who is actually behind door #1… I’m a story teller and MUST tell the entire story! Oh what the heck…you only live once! I walked to the door and texted “I’m outside.”… As he’s coming towards the door, I see a silhouette of a tall, dark and handsome man through his frost glassed door….and then it was opened…the door is now open…and there stood “Mr. Big.” This 6’3, 230 lb chocolately man with a body that can only be professionally sculpted, stood at the door… we smiled, hugged, and I walked in…

I’m laughing on the inside because I pushed the envelope and thanking God that it was HIM and not anyone else…. Safe!

So…I’m now inside of his home… and a beautiful home it is… not too big and not too small…perfect for him. I passed the large dining table filled with bills and magazines and glanced at his wall of accomplishments…in the 16 years in his career, this man has done it all… well let me be clear…he hasn’t it quite DONE IT ALL…not yet!

So…we’re sitting down and chatting it up… We’re laughing, flirting, acting silly, watching football on dvr, and really just trying to get to know each other and having a great time! As much fun as we’re having, I almost forgot that it was 1 a.m. in the morning. But…but…this was weird…I thought prestigious celebs like him are supposed to get you over and take you down to China town the second the door shuts! I mean…I don’t know how these things work, but that was my thought… But apparently not… by the look in his eyes, he seemed lonely and craved the love from someone… and I was that someone…

The hours have rolled by and he still hasn’t “tried” anything with me. I mean…do I want him to? Does he want to but changed his mind since we’re now “friends?” I mean…if I DO the DO DO… would I be considered “easy?” Wait a minute wait a minute… what am I talking about??? There aren’t any rules after being 30+ and dating! Especially now! I need a story and it can’t end like this… He now turns the lights off…

Sees Candy!!!! I’m giggly in the inside like I’m at a candy store. I’m thinking, “Its.About.ToGo.Down!” After hitting the lights, he sits back down next to me… and then nothing! NOTHING HAPPENS! Clock is ticking away and it’s getting late… I have work in the morning so this handsome dude better chop chop! So…to give him “the sign”…I cross my legs….oh wait! I forgot to tell you what I was wearing. Nothing fabulous just some black fitting sweats that most ladies wear in the gym…a black wife beater, hair in the pony tail, flip flops, and minimal makeup. You know…I was going for the “IknowI’mCuteButNotSoCuteWhereIt'sTooMuch" type of look…

So I crossed my legs and BAM! It got his attention! He went for the thigh…but then that was it… a few rubs and null... It was now close to 3 a.m. and I’m fed up….like dude, take charge! LOL… Since it seemed as if he was waiting for me, I went for it. Yep Yep….I went in for the kiss! Oooh mannn…this mannn…this mannn….this FINE chocolately beautiful man… Now as I’m playing music in my head while looking at his beautiful body…one thing leads to another and….yada yada yada…

Not to give too much detail but the making out was beautiful…however, the actual “motion of the ocean” didn’t last too long…Yeah ladies…imagine my expression. How are you gonna have ALL of this, plus that, and definitely THAT, and kept it short? My answer to my own question… I must be a BAD chick!

Needless to say…we got dressed, chilled some more, talked even more…and then I excused myself…Ladies…when you’re in control, you must stay in control! We kissed and hugged and as I walked out, he smiled…I smiled back…turned, and walked away…

Ladies and gentleman..."Mr. Big"...

Setting up for my present and future...

Wooo sigh! In life, we go in and out of relationships...when you're IN, sometimes you want OUT...and when you're OUT, you seldom want IN. This up and down and in and out starts when you're about 13 years of age when you first start dating and continues probably until you're married, although some of the married wants out...

To fast forward my dating life....I'm in my 30s...well, actually 33 to be exact! Dating for me use to be simple. I'm in a relationship, loving the relationship, and then 4-5-6 years down the road, I'm back out doing it all over again. My past relationship sets the tone of the upcoming blogs of my journey in dating. I'm a committed type of woman and going into a relationship with me, you walk in knowing what my intentions are. However, I am not the chick that jumps into relationships quickly. As stated earlier, I am 33 and surprisingly, I've only had 3 relationships...this shows you the type of person I am when I decide to commit. 

Relationship #3 sunk like the titanic...unexpected! We had one of those "open" relationships since neither one of us wanted to go thru the cheating of our past. We both decided to hang out, take our time, get to know one another, spend a million hours with each other, do for each other, and "feel" like we're in a relationship even though we didn't have the title. This seemed like a good idea after getting out of a 6 year relationship that ended in infidelity and 2 kids on the side....but it was the worse idea EVER! Women like me don't EVER want to have a relationship fail, and Relationship #2, killed it for Relationship #3. I needed to go very slow, however, it sped up pretty quickly. At the beginning with Relationship #3, he looked into my eyes and promised that he'd never hurt me. I asked that if he felt I wasn't enough for him, if he could walk away before hurting me, and it was agreed. Well...I'm writing this blog only to tell you that, just like #1 and #2, I was hurt by my best friend. Most/ Some, but not all, men are quick to say that women like to jump into relationships and control the man! Honey, I did exactly the opposite....I don't like controlling a man....heck I was scared to get into another relationship, but I know that ALL MEN ARE NOT DOGS so we set boundaries in the beginning, left the door wide open if he wanted to leave, and all it did was get slammed in a sista's face...

You ask...."What'd he do?" Lets just say Relationship #3 repeated the past cycle...he slept around with plenty other women, was in relationships with these women, and with one of them, got her pregnant. Trust...this baffled me! I know some men will step out....but because he and I set boundaries and agreements, and he was my best friend, I thought at least he'd respect me enough to let me go before doing the dirt...and I think the worse of all was that we were friends....we WERE friends....and the friend I once had, who I spent all my time with, who I supported emotionally, who I helped in his career, who I never argued with, only saw me as JUST ANOTHER ONE, hurt me....

The ending of Relationship #1, Relationship #2, and Relationship #3, pushed me back....waaaaaay back! Yes, I was furious....Yes I cried....Yes I wanted to bust the windows out his car....Yes, I said I wouldn't date again....Yes, I said all men are dogs....Yes, I said I would start dating white men....Yes, Yes, YES! I did and said it all....but you know what....that's not me. I'm loveable, God fearing, and I know that I will have the best....and Relationships #1-3 were just stepping stones for me to grow but in no way shape or form, for me to use as a crutch for my future. So now....I watch....I learn....I have fun....I date....and who knows....maybe one of these dates I'll eventually take serious. But for now, because of my past heartache....I do me...focus on my career, health, body, spirit, and mind...and enjoy the life of being single and dating as a 30 + female in Los Angeles...Come along on my journey and watch, comment, and laugh at the interesting dates that I come in contact with...